14 Years Later And I Still Can't Let Go

It was a Saturday night, when she asked me to wash her back; she called me away from the rest of the family as if to reprimand me.
Her speech was slower than normal, with long pauses emphasizing her thoughts, she specifically asked me to be strong, at that time I thought she meant just for that moment. The next morning, a Sunday, she was weak once again. Towards the afternoon she was taken away, away forever.
I never got the chance to say Goodbye to her, I never really said I love you to her face although I know a mother’s intuition she knew she was the woman of my heart, my pillar, my fortress, my teacher, my everything. I never got the chance to look into her eyes and smile simultaneously with her acknowledging that I was flesh of her flesh.
And that was what it was, she never return after she was taken off in the ambulance, I was told she didn’t even make it to the hospital. The actual cause is still a blur to me, something I have promised myself to find out from my father very soon. I must admit, once I was snooping around like I always used to through my dad’s files and I stumbled across a letter. In the letter was what I’d describe as an autopsy. My mum died of a heart failure. I have wondered how a heart so big, loving and pure could have failed. I have questioned God on countless occasions why He took her away from me, from us, from him. The ‘him’ there is my father, a man who lost his life’s soul mate when my mother passed away, a man who lost the best wife in the world, the best companion and mother of his children. My father once told me, ‘he has never come across a natural mother like my mother’. She was a natural mother. She was created in God’s image and to His taste, a woman who made raising children the best job in the world. She simplified the complex and created a wonder from scratch. I can proudly say I learnt some of life’s lessons by just observing her. She was a star.
Fourteen years since she departed from us and I go through everyday still mourning for her. Counsellors say it is possible to mourn for years, I think that I will be. But when I mourn, I comfort myself soon afterwards knowing that she is looking down on me, protecting me, praying for me. I go through my days with that knowledge held in my heart.
I will be strong, because I know that she would want me to be strong. I miss you; I’ll never stop loving you. Goodnight dear mother.

Two Zero Zero Nine

The joy of Christmas

Noel, Noel,

Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Christ, to others it is the time of the year to shop, while some find it as the only time of the year to act nice.
In the retail world, its the opportunity to have mega sales and attract shoppers from far and near to spend their hard earned money on goods. In the fashion world, hey its the release of the special collections.
All in all the Christmas season is a very busy period time of the year regardless of what religious, commercial or financial view you plan to take.

In the fairytale world, Christmas always is white and snow filled and looks beautiful and garland. In the real world of Bradford, Christmas is a cold chilly morning but with a freshness in the faces of the folks on the streets. Oh! I forgot to mention, Christmas also makes people smile more than usual.

Well how did my Christmas unfold... Two weeks to Christmas my girlfriend and I bought our Christmas tree and it was a landmark event as the setting up of the tree and the decorating of the tree had many pauses of 'I love you' being exchanged 'This is our first Christmas together' being repeated. So the tree was set and we waited for Christmas eve to get the traditional turkey and the stuffing; the menu had been discussed and sketched and re-sketched depending on our moods. Finally, Christmas morning dawned and we eagerly started the food preparation. First was the washing and dressing of the turkey that I christened 'Edward'. He was a big one so cleaning him out was no small deal, then the next thing was to mix the marinades and marinate the bird. While that was being done... the chef goddess, Lebo, was began making steamed bread, cheesecake, and trifle 'all from scratch' just like her mum had taught her. In that time she had also seasoned chicken wings.

Edward was then put in the oven for bout three and a half hours with the stuffing joining in from the last half hour. In that time the cheesecake, trifle and wings had been prepared along with fried-rice and potato salad.

Joshua, in his usual self arrived and easily mde himself comfortable with the turkey and a very sharp knife. The feasting could now begin after eight hours of preparation; we sat with good food, ate and watch the classic Eastenders Christmas Day special with Wollis and Gromitt as intermission. Before Joshua left, he was presented with his Christmas gift as Lebo and I had decided to exchange ours privately... He smiled all the way home.

Well, that was that for the eating part, it was now the highly anticipated exchange of gifts and an engraved ipod, a wristwatch (that was later exchanged) and silicon heating sock (that only worked for that night) went down well with my one and only, a jacket, a watch, toiletries and a pair of plimsolls blew my mind away. In her words the look on my face was priceless.

I know this is a late documentation of Christmas but all that food had to settle before I could write about an Unforgettable Christmas and now I can't wait for Christmas 2009.
Adieu!